Кто знает английский?

   Я тут английский язык начал изучать. Решил попробовать перевести один из своих романов, таки сказать практика. Интересно мнение людей в совершенстве владеющие английским языком. Ну если такие есть. 

Prologue
Long years after...

– When the planet formation from the gas dust proto planet disk of the star system started, not a single planetoid appeared on the third embryo orbit, but two ones – the main and its satellite. They rotated around the Tabeta star like a giant dumbbells – which you, children, use for a physical workout – with balls of different sizes. When planetoids, getting cold, started to become planets, it turned up, that their sizes and gravity fields were large enough to keep the atmosphere around them both. Later the planet was called Dalta, and the satellite – Daltara. It occurred so, that Daltara didn’t rotate around Dalta, but hung above it immovably – both the planet and the satellite together spinned around Tabeta, making turns around a common axis. This allowed both the planet and the satellite to have the seasons change – winter, spring, summer and autumn – and day and night change alike. But the gravity played a very interesting role in Dalta and Daltara formation: when the terrain parts started to arise from the overheated mantle, Daltara’s gravity somewhat assembled them all into a sole mainland on the planet, around which an ocean formed afterwards. Everything happened on the satellite the same way...
– Grandfather, granddaddy! I know, how they are called – we’ve already learned it with the tutor, – interrupted the narration Lyde, the elder grandson, a shaggy boy with huge blue eyes. He was extremely curious and simply plied people with his questions, and he was interested in everything: from «why is the air airy» to «why does the human think»...
– It’s not polite to interrupt the elder actually, – noted the mechanoid Sci, which never missed a chance to teach the children good manners a little.
– Well! Let him answer, – said the oldman in a non-judgemental manner, who loved his grandsons very much and allowed them many of that was prohibited by their strict tutors.
– I really know this! – shouted out Lyde happily. – This is a continent Conti on Dalta, and Contica on Daltara!